1. Take care of yourself. Give yourself permission to ask for help you will need. You deserve it. 2. Promote the independence of the elderly person. Plan to provide only the minimal amount of assistance needed in order to avoid further dependence and deterioration. 3. Involve the older person as much as possible in the planning process, in decision making and in self-care. 4. Develop a written care-sharing plan that considers the current physical, emotional, and environmental needs of the older person and all potential caregivers. 5. Develop a written back-up plan that can go into effect if the situation of the older person or the caregiver should change suddenly. 6. Build in regular respite (time-out) for the caregiver(s). The person who has the major responsibility for care has a right to relief time and other family members have a responsibility to provide it. 7. Designate one person to coordinate services, clarify responsibilities, and keep lines of communication open. 8. Pull together all available resources in such a way as to distribute responsibilities fairly and avoid overburdening one person. Strive for care sharing. 9. Build in quality control. How and when will you decide if the plan is meting the family’s needs? 10. Obtain a second opinion of your family’s plan from someone you trust who has handled a similar experience (i.e. friend, neighbor, clergy, social worker).